


The Show

by Amy_de_lABC



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Gen, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Random & Short, Randomness, like you don't even know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amy_de_lABC/pseuds/Amy_de_lABC
Summary: Artemis and Holly do a brief show.





	The Show

_(Stage. Curtain opens to reveal two comfortable armchairs, with Artemis and Holly sitting in them.)_

Holly: Hello, and welcome to our show! This is Art, and—

Artemis: My name's not Art!

Holly: Yes it is!

Artemis: No it isn't!

Holly: Yes it is!

Artemis: No it isn't!

Holly: (pulls out gun and points it at Artemis) YES, IT IS!

Artemis: Okay, okay! It is!

Holly: THANK you. Now, as I was saying, this is Art, and I'm Hayley, and today—

Artemis: Your name is NOT Hayley!

Holly: Yes it is!

Artemis: Is not!

Holly: Is too!

Artemis: Is not!

Holly: Is too!

Artemis: JULIET!

Holly: No, no, you fool! Her name is Julie! Not Juliet, Julie! J-U-L-I-E! JULIE!

Artemis: JULIET!

Holly: Art, I'm warning you…

Artemis: JULIET! And my name's not Art, it's Artemis!

Holly: (prods him with her gun) Art….

Artemis: Okay, FINE! JULIE!

Holly: Thanks. (Puts gun back away, but keeps her hand on it just in case.) (To audience) Okay, today—

Artemis: --ET!

Holly: (looking daggers at Artemis) ART!

Juliet: (coming in) What's wrong, Artemis?

Artemis: (stands) Well, see—(Holly stands also, walks over to him, takes gun out again and points it at him)—never mind. Nothing. You can go now, I guess. But…

Holly: Now then, we've got that settled, Art. Shall we proceed? (To audience) Today—

Juliet: Just a minute. I want to know exactly what's going on here. Why did you call him Art?

Holly: (impatiently) Because that's his name, Julie!

Juliet: No it's not!

Holly: Yes it is!

Juliet: No, it's not! And my name is NOT Julie!

Holly: Yes it is! And my name is Hayley!

Juliet: No, it is not!

Holly: YES IT IS!

Juliet: (sweetly) Hol—uh, Hayley, how would you like to learn the spin-drop-kick? It's a wrestling move I made up myself.

Holly: That would be great!

Juliet: Okay. Come here.  
Holly: (comes) Okay, how do you do it?

(Juliet picks her up)

Holly: Hey! Hey, Julie! What are you doing!

Juliet: (still sweet) Didn't I tell you I would be practicing on you?

Holly: Okay, okay, FINE, I'll stop calling you Julie!

Juliet: AND?

Holly: (reluctantly) And I'll stop calling Artemis Art, and myself Hayley. Just put me down!

Juliet: Will do. (Puts her down.)

Holly: Phew! (Catches her breath.) Okay, now then…since we only have half an hour to do this in (shoots glares at Artemis and Juliet), we should probably get started. So…AS I WAS SAYING (looks daggers at Artemis and Juliet again), today we will—

Metallic voice from the ceiling: I'm sorry, your time is up. Please get off the stage.

(Giant hook grabs Juliet off the stage. She is too surprised to do anything.)

Holly: (freaks out) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

(Chases Artemis off the stage, waving gun wildly and shooting randomly.)

Take that! And that! And that!

Artemis: Hey! Watch where you're going with that thing! Hey! Stop shooting! Aaaaah!

Holly: Take that! And that! Take that!

(Curtain closes.)

Metallic voice from ceiling: Thank you for watching. We hope you enjoyed the show.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ!
> 
> So here's the thing. I'm reposting my FanFiction.net stories here, just because they have gotten a decent response there, even though I wrote them in like junior high and am not super proud of them now. So some of these, this included, are incredibly random and weird. This being taken into account, I totally understand if you didn't like this, but if that's the case, please, give me a chance in other fandoms/on fics that I wrote past that crazy age. (Also preferably no flames.)
> 
> Anyway...thanks! And if you did happen to enjoy this despite its random nature, feel free to give kudos or a comment!


End file.
